The Homesteading Housewife
Some People Live in a Dream World... Some People Live in Reality... Some Turn One into the Other....
My name is Dana,
I'm the Chief Critter-Keeper, Dirt-Digger, Meal-Maker,Penny-Pincher & Kid Chaser on our small family farm. More About Me.
Happiness is Homemade!
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On the Menu Tonight
Steaks
green salad
green beans
Blueberry Cobbler
sweet tea
I woke up this morning....
The Little-Foreman-in-Pink was in my bed....
I stretched... and opened my eyes to see her looking intently at me...
Good-Morning baby, I said.
Mommy... You have baby hairs under your arm!! They are soooo cute!! She replied.
I pulled the covers back over my head and waited for her to leave...
She did not.
later...
Mommy! feel my muscles! (as she flexed to show how big and strong she is) Show me your muscles mommy.
In response I flexed to show her my best bicep for her to feel,
She started to bat at my floppy-hanging-down-under-arm-flab. Cool Mommy! It's squishy!!
*sigh*
It's gonna be a great day!
The Little-Foreman-in-Pink was in my bed....
I stretched... and opened my eyes to see her looking intently at me...
Good-Morning baby, I said.
Mommy... You have baby hairs under your arm!! They are soooo cute!! She replied.
I pulled the covers back over my head and waited for her to leave...
She did not.
later...
Mommy! feel my muscles! (as she flexed to show how big and strong she is) Show me your muscles mommy.
In response I flexed to show her my best bicep for her to feel,
She started to bat at my floppy-hanging-down-under-arm-flab. Cool Mommy! It's squishy!!
*sigh*
It's gonna be a great day!
Happy 4th of July!!. 7/4/2008
Tonight is the night!!
Tonight is the Bonfire Championship of the World!!
No more hanging my head in shame because my neighbor won last year! (although I have heard she plans to burn another couch this year grrrr)
It's ok.. she made the fatal mistake of taunting Worked #2 about how they were gonna kick our behinds.
HA! this only made him go out and cut down something like 50 china-berry trees in the front pasture!
And I may have mentioned to my ex hubby B, that if he wanted to stay and eat he would have to bring burnable stuff to add to the fire...
we shall see.
The menu has changed a little bit for our cook-out.
Today I'm making....
Perfectly Grilled thick Ribeye steaks
Chopped Steak with melted cheese
Smoked green onion sausage
Smoked corn on the cob...
The Great Bonfire Championship 2008!!! (Guess who won?) 7/6/2008
This picture is the completed
Bonfire structure.
Keep in mnd, the tallest kid in
the center (wearing the jeans)
is woker #1...he is 6'2"!!!
We have FIRE!!!
It quicky jumped 30 feet
into the night sky.
The fire grew and grew!
I was so proud of the way
the boys built it!
When it finally collpsed it ...
Country Boys (and maybe a country girl too!) 7/7/2008
Never Thought I'd Say THIS Again!!! 7/8/2008
I went to the feed store this morning.
Nothing too exciting bout that, these critters of mine eat a lot!
I walked into the feed store and was greeted by the way too beautiful and classy to be living out here in the sticks Lady who owns the place.
"I need some sperm" I said
I have 5 kids.... Why on earth would I ask for sperm?
Have I lost my mind?
From the moment that I begged the Dr to cut my over-productive fallopian tubes out of my body I have not given sperm another thought.
But here I was.. asking for sperm.
The Man-of-My-Dreams IS working out of town you know!
A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!
(oh he's gonna LOVE reading THIS post!).....
She needs to get out more! 7/9/2008
I've told you about the Little-Foreman-in-Pink and the fact that I think she may need to get away from the farm, away from her brothers, and interact with other little girls more.
As long as there have been little girls.
Little girls have played with dolls.
There were corn-cob dolls, pillow-case dolls, plain dolls, fancy dolls, Barbie Dolls, and many stuffed animals.
Little girls love dolls.
Little girls play house with dolls.
They play dress-up with dolls.
They act out being a mommy to dolls.
What does the Little-Foreman-in-Pink do with her dolls/stuffed animals?...
I Want a DNA Test!! 7/10/2008
It's a little known fact (unless you are my mother) that, as a child, I was gifted.
No... I'm not talking about my IQ.
I did not excel at school.
I was not a prodigy on some musical instrument.
I was, however, very imaginative. I could think quick on my feet.
I could tell stories like nobodies business!
I liked to keep life interesting, there was going to be NOTHING mundane about it!
Like the time , when I was 4, that I convinced all of the deacons in our church that my mommy and daddy were going to adopt a new baby... It was going to sleep in my room, and I was going to take care of it because my mommy would be too tired. My parents caught wind of this lie story right before the surprise baby shower that was in the works for them.
Or the amazing escapades of "Bandit" my 3rd grade class gerbil. He would always manage to...
Ask the Homesteading Housewife! part II 7/11/2008
Your life sounds so busy and crazy hectic, how do you find time to blog?
It's called child labor dear.... give birth to lots of babies, let em grow a little bit.. put em to work while you eat Bon Bon's & paint your toenails....
Or.. write your posts early in the morning or late at night and click the publish button sometime during the day when you are running by the computer to clean up animal poop off of your floor that your lovely **rolling eyes** children tracked in.
Have you ever thought about writing a book or being an author?
I would love to do that someday... only if they let me use spell check, I love spell check.. I want to have it's babies.
But I have no idea what I could say that would fill a whole book!
How do you keep everything organized? Especially in a small house with so many people?.....
To My Short People, 7/12/2008
You are right. It is not fair.
As a matter of fact, I never promised you that your life would be fair. You really should get used to it now.. Life is NOT fair. The sooner you learn to accept this fact, the better off you'll be. Now that you know this you can refrain from informing me ten-thousand times a day that It's not fair. Guess what??!? I KNOW!!!
Oh and by the way...
I really don't care if you were sitting there first. Seriously, does it really matter? Each of the cushions on the couch face the same place, what does it matter which one you sit on? Is this really something worth fighting over? I think not.. and I really don't care!
Yes.. as a matter of fact, he IS allowed to look at you!
Oh and are you on fire? Is there water....
Dumb Mom Moment #287 , 7/14/2008
The Man-of-My-Dreams and worker #2 were sitting in the living room watching TV, I walked in and asked them "Whatcha watching?"...
We are watching the "Olympic swimming Trials." they replied.
"Ohh I love this stuff! I didn't think it started for a few more months!?!
I sat down to watch the end of a race with them.....
I was a good fan.. I cheered em on... and admired their strength and grace.
When the scores were posted, I kinda got a little bit excited.
The top 10 were all from the USA!!
WOW We ROCK!! Whoo Hoooo! Go Team!!!!
I yelled and jumped right up out of my seat.
Then I noticed that no one else in the room was cheering...
They were all looking at me like I had suddenly grown a second head!
Um.... Yeah... the trials are made up of only Americans trying to win a spot on the USA Olympic team.
oops ...Duh...
My bad.....
Humiliation Chronicles (Mow & Show) 7/16/2008
It's hot in Texas. It's very VERY HOT in Texas!
So.. when the lawn needs mowing, I do it wearing less than normal clothes. I mow the yard... It's MY convertible (riding lawn mower) the men folk can do the rest of the yard work.. the mowing is MINE!
Anyway.... I was mowing the yard wearing one of those super-trendy terry cloth pull over tube-top like dresses.
Yes, I know that it didn't look nearly as cute or trendy on My body as it does on all the sickeningly thin super models.
But thats what I wear to mow.. deal with it.
It lets me get some sun without tan lines running down my shoulders...
It's short enough to get some color on these white legs of mine.
And we don't have neighbors close enough to really get a good look anyway.
And hey... if someone works hard enough to tromp through the woods to get a peek of the half-naked fat chick mowing her lawn.. more power to him!!
I was mowing and the Man-of-My-Dreams was working on his car, or something, near the carport.
For some reason, none of our young-men-folk were home.
Tomorrow morning I am going to the store to buy supplies to cook for my freezer.
A lot of people like to do what is called Once a Month Cooking. I have never done that really, I just double or triple our usual meals and freeze family meal sized portions for later.
It's so nice to be able to pull out a whole family meal from the freezer when I'm not in the mood to cook or my schedule is too busy to spend hours in the kitchen.
Today, I pulled out a smoked pork loin.
Threw it in the microwave.
Made some mashed potatoes & Green beans.
And we had a wonderful dinner! I
t takes all day to smoke a pork loin.
And it's no more work to smoke three or four at a time than it is to smoke one.
So we ate one when I cooked em, and vacuum sealed the others with some of it's juices for later. It was perfect!
Over the next few days I plan to make a few meals for the freezer...
A lot of people like to do what is called Once a Month Cooking. I have never done that really, I just double or triple our usual meals and freeze family meal sized portions for later.
It's so nice to be able to pull out a whole family meal from the freezer when I'm not in the mood to cook or my schedule is too busy to spend hours in the kitchen.
Today, I pulled out a smoked pork loin.
Threw it in the microwave.
Made some mashed potatoes & Green beans.
And we had a wonderful dinner! I
t takes all day to smoke a pork loin.
And it's no more work to smoke three or four at a time than it is to smoke one.
So we ate one when I cooked em, and vacuum sealed the others with some of it's juices for later. It was perfect!
Over the next few days I plan to make a few meals for the freezer...
Dana's BEST Italian Meat Balls! 7/21/2008
mmm mmm mmm My house smells GREAT!!
I just made 400 of these babies!!
we have enough for dinner tonight
AND 4 more meals in the freezer for later!
Spaghetti n Meatballs!
Meatball Subs!
Meatball Pizza!
I could go on and on.....
Yummm!!
Dana's BEST Italian Meat Balls
These babies can be made ahead of time , frozen, then tossed into your favorite sauce for pasta, or a great meatball sub!
Just simmer them in your favorite sauce for a bit to blend the flavors and you'll be very happy!
I promise!
To get some rain?
Our farm needs rain! (I'm holding out for some residual rain from Hurricane Dolly)
The sad thing is that everybody around us has had rain and we have had nothing!
Seriously... I'll be in town (7 miles away) and it will be pouring..
I drive home.. bone dry!
It's like someone put a bowl over our farm!
My trees are wilting..
My garden is soo fried...
My grass is crispy...
My pond is half empty...
My pasture is cracking...
And houses 1 mile away have lush green lawns!
I have done something to anger the rain Gods, I guess.
I tried doing the naked rain dance....
Wait a minute.... Uh oh...
That may be the problem!
I scared the Rain Gods away!
Just like these girls... you'd think I would have learned my lesson wouldn't ya?
Guess not,
Darn!
Our farm needs rain! (I'm holding out for some residual rain from Hurricane Dolly)
The sad thing is that everybody around us has had rain and we have had nothing!
Seriously... I'll be in town (7 miles away) and it will be pouring..
I drive home.. bone dry!
It's like someone put a bowl over our farm!
My trees are wilting..
My garden is soo fried...
My grass is crispy...
My pond is half empty...
My pasture is cracking...
And houses 1 mile away have lush green lawns!
I have done something to anger the rain Gods, I guess.
I tried doing the naked rain dance....
Wait a minute.... Uh oh...
That may be the problem!
I scared the Rain Gods away!
Just like these girls... you'd think I would have learned my lesson wouldn't ya?
Guess not,
Darn!
Batch Cooking (bacon wrapped stuffed chicken breasts) 7/23/2008
Here are two of the trays of bacon wrapped stuffed
chicken breasts.
After I stuffed and wrapped em (recipe to follow)
I put them on cookie sheets and flash froze em.
(Flash Freezing = stuck them in the freezer for an hour or two to firm them up so they wouldn't schmoosh when they were vacuum sealed and so they would stay separate so i could take out a few at a time, if needed)
Switched at Birth? 7/25/2008
Worker #3 (and yes, I use the term "worker" VERY lightly) is leaving on a Boy Scout camping trip bright-n-early tomorrow morning.
This is the child who does not like to perspire.
He does not like to get dirty.
He is thoroughly convinced that he is allergic to physical labor of any sort.
He can usually be found hiding under a bush somewhere reading the latest installment of Harry Potter instead of helping fix the fence, or catching the-smarter-than-your-average-cow when she escapes the pasture yet again.
He is the child who believes that all would be well with the world if video games were allowed to be played 24 hours a day 7 days a week round here.
He is in the "gifted & talented" program at school. He is very smart.
This child has known we were all beneath him since the day he was born.
As far as he is concerned, there was a terrible mistake made somewhere... because he surly was meant to be an only child. **sigh**
He is going camping.
Not only is he going camping.. but they are going camping in the...